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 HUMOR HEALS

 "Laughter is the Best Medicine"

NEWSLETTER

June 2015

Page 9

THE  COMPUTER  CONTEST  

Jesus and Satan got into an argument over which of them was the better computer programmer. Finally, God got tired of the bickering and told them that he would judge a contest between them. They each had four hours to write the best program they could and then God would decide the winner.

 

They both got right down to business and wrote lines and lines of code. Just before the four hours were up, there was a gigantic flash of lightning and a tremendous clap of thunder. The lights flickered, the power faltered and both computer screens went dead.

 

When power was restored, God declared that time was up and asked to see the results of their work. Jesus flipped on his computer and displayed the most elegant program you could imagine, with beautiful architecture and wonderful ease in maneuvering through it. He had truly developed a triumph of multimedia with sound and pictures, in addition to all kinds of bells and whistles.

 

God asked Satan to show what he had created.

 

Satan said, "I've got nothing, absolutely nothing. My program was twice as good as that, but I lost it all when the power went out. Jesus must have cheated. How could he still have such a great program?"

 

God replied, "Everybody knows -- Jesus Saves."

submitted by Firstmate -

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THE TALKING DOG

 

A man was walking down the street when he heard a voice, "Hey, I need help. Come over here!" He looked around and could see no one, but suddenly spotted an old mangy greyhound.

 

"Over here!" said the greyhound. "Look at me. I'm tied up here and starving when I should be racing. I won 14 races in my career, you know."

 

The man thought to himself, "Oh my God - a talking dog. I must have it. This dog can make me rich. I can do tv appearances, make movies, go on tours and get lucrative product endorsements. I am going to make a fortune."

 

He immediately went in search of the owner and found him within a very short time.

 

"I'd like to buy your dog. Is he for sale?"

 

The owner said, "You don't want that old moth-eaten mutt!"

 

"Yes, I do!" insisted the man. "I'll give you $1,000 for him."

 

"Ok," said the owner. "But, I think you're making a big mistake paying that much for this dog!"

 

Handing over the cash immediately, the man asked, "Why do you say that?"

 

The man replied "Because that dog's a big, fat liar. it's never won a single race in its life!"

submitted by Firstmate -

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